Malawi Memo 10 February 2006

I had no idea that when I came to Malawi I’d be embarking on a study of toilet paper but did you know that there are different types of 2-ply? Let me assure you that there are. We were actually onto a good brand of 2-ply and I should have stuck to it but ever the explorer, I have just brought a different kind – 9 rolls of it – and it’s just not the same! It’s to do with the thickness of each ply but I’ll leave it at that.

Such are the trivial issues one has to deal with in this place and I guess you tend to focus on them at times as a distraction from the not at all trivial issues like politics and poverty. On our arrival back from a lovely 3 weeks in Australia we were greeted at the airport by a guy selling green beans and another guy in a wheelchair. We were also greeted with the news of the various antics of the President. His most recent move has been to fire the Vice-President for not turning up to Cabinet meetings (which apparently he didn’t tell the VP about!) It seems that if he’d read his Constitution the President would have known that he couldn’t fire the Vice-President and that the only way to get rid of the VP was by impeaching him. As the President himself is still the subject of impeachment proceedings I can imagine he was not too keen to go down that road with the VP but an unconstitutional dismissal…..?! We’re still waiting to see what the fall out will be but we’re expecting something quite spectacular.

Back to the issue of the guys selling things, as annoying as it can be, our sympathy was really with them this week. Martin went down to the bank and the post office on Tuesday morning and found himself in the middle of a governmental attempt to round up all the street sellers and to move them on to a “less intrusive” area. Tear gas and shots were being fired and Martin found that tear gas is no respecter of persons. He was gassed not once but twice! I was in the area the following day and it was very quiet and subdued. The normally vibrant colours of the cloth market that usually operates on the rails in front of one set of shops (ie the vendors drape the various bits of cloth over the rails and then stand in front) was nowhere to be seen, although a couple of the vendors surreptitiously approached me, backpacks on their back, and whispered that they could do me a very good deal if I was interested. “Today is cheap price, Madam, very cheap.” I’m starting to come up with response lines they can’t argue with rather than just saying no. My latest is, “Oh, I’m very sorry but my husband would be very angry with me if I bought more chitenje (word for cloth)”.

As it happens, although there were a few quiet days on the street vendor front, the government backed down and the vendors are all back in force. It’s actually nice to see them. Despite the days when you really just want to go about your business without being bothered, the area just wouldn’t be the same without them.

Actually there are equivalents in Australia (well all over the Western world) to the harassment of the street vendors – yes, the telephone canvassers. We don’t get them here so we’d forgotten about them. Occasionally we receive calls from people who dial random numbers just for a chat but they don’t last very long because of the language issue. However when we were in Australia and staying with friends we received 2 calls in the space of 2 days from people trying to sell things. I guess that’s the power of the retail industry. As long as there is life on earth there will be people trying to sell you things.

Now, since so many of you asked about Arnold, our gardener, while we were back in Australia, I’ll bring all of you up to date. Just before we left a letter arrived for Arnold in our PO box. As he’d recently been married, I thought it must have been a congratulatory card or letter so I presented the letter to Arnold with much excitement (how often does he get letters, you know?) Well it was actually a Magistrate’s Court summons regarding the payment of Child Support for one of his children. I was aware that Arnold had been married before so assumed it was about one of his older children. Oh no, no, no. It turns out that this son is the same age, within a few weeks, as Owen, the son Arnold has with his wife, Catherine. I asked if Catherine knew about this and the reply was “Oh no, no, no. She would leave me.” Can’t say I blame her, to be honest. Arnold’s primary concern was not that he’d cheated on his dearly beloved, or that she’d be upset if she found out, but that the Court might put him in jail if he did not have enough money to pay. Naturally he thought we might be able to assist him in this regard. Strangely enough I found my sympathy beginning to wane but, not having quite reached the end of my generosity, gave him instead some free legal advice.

Arnold went the next day to Martin, who by then was up to speed with events. Needless to say he didn’t find much of a sympathetic ear in Martin either. As we were leaving, Arnold was stewing on the possibility of jail (a possibility I considered to be quite remote) and still trying to wheedle some money out of us. The court date was while we were away and we received an email from the guy looking after our work to say that Arnold had also approached him for money! I was beginning to think a night in lockup might not be a bad idea but as it turned out Arnold was able to do a very reasonable deal with the woman’s father, so that Arnold pays what he can when he can and if he can’t he simply needs to let them know. Catherine still doesn’t know and Arnold thought maybe I could understate his pay on his pay slips so she won’t know if there’s money disappearing to another source. In all other respects Arnold has been on his very best behaviour since we’ve been back but we really think it’s just a matter of time before he’ll step over the line irretrievably.

Otherwise it’s been a week of catching up after holidays, correcting the mistakes I made on Monday when I was still well and truly jet-lagged and preparing for the arrival of several business colleagues from Perth. Next week is a week of meetings with various government departments to try to resolve areas of possible dispute between the company and the government over an agreement to mine uranium in this country. Please pray because I think this represents the single largest challenge of the entire project. It will be an interesting but very busy week and after the dust settles I will report on more of the fascinating events that comprise life in Malawi.