Getting to Heaven

Getting to Heaven

I’ve heard so many people tell me they think that “good people” will all go to heaven. I wish that were the case but how can anyone think themselves as “good”? For a start, my own assessment of whether or not I am “good” will definitely depend on a comparison with other people. Okay, so I’m no Mother Theresa, but I’m better than ……

So where does the cut off for good or not good lie? And what about if you’re not good? Does that mean that you can never make it to heaven? Even if you change your mind about being good?

I would love to think that I’m good. I spend so much time trying to impress people (and God) with what a great person I am but of course I hide the darker sides of my nature. I can’t count the number of times I have said nasty things about someone else behind their back. That’s not good, that’s despicable. And the fact that many, many people do it does not make it any less despicable.

I’m not even aware of how much I do which is actually calculated for maximum personal gain. I’m aware of enough to make me cringe in the light of honest self-analysis. Yes, I do want to help others but …..

And now here’s a good one. What about the genuinely held belief (which of course subconsciously influences much of what I do) that I am better than most people I come across, God included at times. I don’t like to admit to this one but in actual fact it’s true. Of course intellectually I know that I’m no better than anyone else; it’s just that I find myself thinking otherwise in my private thoughts. Humility, I’m afraid, is not one of my strong points.

Now, if being “better than most” people is the standard I may or may not have a show. I don’t know. There are some pretty decent people out there. If being better than the worst is the standard, then I think I do have a show. But that’s not what being “good” is.

This is not a “down on me” session. It’s not a confession box. I don’t feel the need to beat myself for penance or to suffer in order to try to elevate my “goodness quotient”. I do, however, feel the need to try to stop kidding myself about what I need to do to be accepted by God.

The answer is absolutely NOTHING.

How can we think that being good would impress God? God, who sees every cranny of every part of us and knows every thought before we have thought it? God, who made us, is hardly going to be overawed when we use what He actually gave us in the first place, to try to impress Him. God, who made us, knows that we all have capacity for good and for evil and that all of us at some stage exercise that capacity for evil whether we like it or not.

No, I don’t think the standard for getting to heaven is being good, I think it is all about accepting the fact that there is nothing in ourselves that can impress God and by asking Him for His love and acceptance. He has already given it to us in the person of Jesus. Especially if you don’t think you deserve it.

Life in Malawi as at 23 August 2005

I’m still getting over the end of a cold which has been more notable because of its length than its intensity. Martin is a cold & flu tablets convert so I tried them and they do reduce the symptoms which at the time was a blessing. For him they work in every dimension but for me I think they end up elongating the length of the cold. I seem to remember having tried them before with the same result. Also we are into the last couple of months of the dry season so the amount of dust about is considerable. Most of the locals use wood fires to cook and fires are used to burn rubbish in the drains, do small burn offs etc, so I guess my nose won’t be too happy for a while yet. It’s annoying but not life threatening, in contrast to the plight of many in this country!

My body is still reacting to the water or the soap powder used or something because my back in particular is constantly itchy. There is a very high level of chlorine in the tap water because you can smell it. We boil and filter our drinking water so are probably not consuming that level of chlorine but we wash in it every day so this could account for some of the reaction.

So there’s the inevitable adjustment factor in the physical and emotional realm. I miss family and friends, my cat, Tamsin, and the beach and strolling into Freo but I don’t miss the cold and the rain or the working hours or the job. We are working from home here and find that we might be at the desk anytime from 7am but I don’t remember the last time we were still at it after 5pm. Unless we’re entertaining visitors, but that’s hardly the same. And without exception our visitors have been interesting and delightful. Sometimes I cook for them. Sometimes Arnold, our gardener come errand boy come cook, cooks. He’s done lasagne, which is excellent, and chicken pasties which were a bit dry but otherwise very tasty. On Thursday he’s going to cook a spinach pie because Martin’s coming back from up north with another visitor.

The other option of course is to eat out. It’s not expensive and there is a good enough range of places to choose from. Our favourite at the moment is Mama Mia, an Italian restaurant in the Old Town. The service is good, the food good and reasonably priced. They have an extensive bar and the ambience is light and friendly. We are yet to try the Chinese restaurant in the Portuguese Club but that also has very good reports. If it’s just Martin and me and we can’t summon the will to cook there’s a very basic little café just up the road. They do a very basic stew with rice or chips for just over A$3. You couldn’t cook it for that.

Shopping is not too bad. The supermarkets are generally well enough stocked, although you can guarantee that at any given time there will be something you can’t buy. At the moment it’s brown sugar. They have raw sugar coated with caramel something or other, masquerading as brown sugar, but the real mccoy is nowhere to be found. No doubt next week I’ll be able to find brown sugar and something else will elude me. It pays not to be desperate for any particular ingredient and my cooking is largely adaptive. We eat what we have and if I want to cook a particular dish I keep in mind that I might have to create a variation of it if I can’t find all I need. However the basics are always available – milk, bread, eggs, rice, some kind of meat, vegetables and fruit. The local fruits are very good. I think we’re onto the fourth papaya from our garden. I love papaya and the flavour has been unbeatable. The mangoes are starting to appear on the trees but they won’t be ripe for another couple of months. In the meantime the strawberries are also abundant when you’re out and about but I’m a bit reluctant to eat them because you can’t guarantee they haven’t been watered with contaminated water. There’s no way to wash a strawberry well enough without cooking it. I have found a recipe for strawberry chutney that I’ll try. I’m not sure about the thought of strawberry chutney, but for $3.50 for the equivalent of about 4 or 5 punnets I’m willing to try it.

What’s good about living here? So many things and most of them really quite subtle. Our house staff are a joy to live and work with. They always have a ready smile or laugh and whatever you ask them is done without comment or complaint. I certainly don’t regret not having to do my own dishes or washing or housework, although I feel very strange having someone else do it for me. We live in a walled “estate” and there are lots of tiny (and not so tiny) black kids running around playing their simple games and yelling at the tops of their voices with the joy of life. When they see us coming they wave and yell. If we are on foot some of the brave ones will run up for a closer look.

When I’ve been out walking around the neighbourhood, many people avert their eyes because they are shy or feel for some reason they cannot speak to a muzungu (foreigner) but then there are almost always 2 or 3 or more who yell out “hello” and want to know who you are, where you’re going and generally what you’re up to out of friendly curiosity. And maybe to practise their English.

It’s also an incredible privilege to meet people who live in the most despondent circumstances but who can still greet you with a smile and wish you a good day.

I’ve begun a study of minibuses as you may have read about in other journal entries. I’m trying to accrue a collection of photos but most don’t like having their photos taken so this is proving to be a challenge. I also want to start a study on “transportation by bike”. Now you might imagine I’m talking about people who ride their bikes around the place but I’m not. There are many people who ride bikes but the ones I’m most interested in are those who load their bikes up with all kinds of produce and sometimes ride but usually walk their bikes from here to there. We’ve seen bikes carrying a (single) front door, bikes with a 12ft high pile of firewood, bikes with a brace of dead chickens hanging by their feet from the handlebars etc. All because they can’t afford a more “effective” vehicle. I’m going to try to collect photos. I may have to pay for the privilege but I have a collection of small change for that purpose (as well as for the beggars you inevitably meet every time you go to town. As the wealthy are the source of social security for the disabled in Malawi I do feel inclined to give when they ask.)

Martin’s up north for most of this week so tomorrow I plan to go into town by minibus to check our post office bag and do a bit of shopping. Maybe someone will agree to take my picture in the minibus.

Whose is the Earth?

“The earth is the Lord’s and everything in it….” Psalm 24:1

Now I know there’s a deep and longstanding debate about how the universe came to be but I think it’s true to say that all participants in this debate acknowledge that one of the possible explanations is that all life was created by a Powerful Spiritual Source.

Of those who accept this explanation as being true or most likely, I acknowledge that there are many, many different ideas about Who or What that powerful Spiritual Source is.

Now, the questions of how and who to one side for a moment, if you accept that a Powerful Spiritual Source created life, then it must follow that we belong to it. The law in most places that I know of says that if an artist creates a piece of work, he or she has legal right over that work. He or she can keep it, sell it or give it away. Now, it must follow that the Force that created the earth has the same rights. We are not our own, we belong to the Creator. The Creator has provided us with life and with the natural resources we find upon the earth. From those natural resources, we have created many and different things. So, do we own what we have created or does the Creator, who gave us the means to create?

If you believe that the world spontaneously came into being then of course there is no Divine ownership and humans can do what they choose. Things belong to those who find them or acquire them according to the rules of society. But if you believe in a Divine Being then that is arguably not the case. If the source of all things is a Supreme Being, then arguably, that Being is the owner of all things in the universe He/She/It created. This is especially so if you believe that the universe was created with benevolent purpose. If this is the case, then the Supreme Being's purpose should be applied to all created matter, including and especially humans, in order for life on this planet to prosper.

How is it, then, that we in the Western World especially, live as though we are our own gods and as though what we own belongs to us for our enjoyment and prosperity? I speak for myself, not just at others and of course I generalise, but I'm sure that many would agree with me that materialism and consumerism are prevalent in the West and is very worrying.

In the realm of Employment Law an employee who acts as if he owns something actually belonging to his boss could be charged with stealing from his employer (I'm talking about taking what is in fact God’s and making it mine). Arguably the negative consequences of this action outweigh the short-term gain.

Looking at it another way, if we apply logic, it really makes no sense to hold onto things that have no innate life in preference to reaching out for the Divine Being. We give our possessions a life force by telling ourselves that we must have them to be happy. Now I’m not saying that owning things is, of itself, bad, but giving those things an elevated importance is. If I value my money so much that I can’t bless others with it, or feel that life has no value if I lose it, it in fact owns me and is in fact taking the place of the Divine in my life.

Assuming, which I do, that a Divine force created all life, then that Divine Being also made a number of laws or rules for how life would be. Gravity is one example and the principle of sowing and reaping is another. It doesn’t matter what you believe, your belief system cannot render you immune to the effects of gravity. In the same way it seems that no matter what your belief system, human life is subject to the sowing and reaping principle – what you put in you get out. If you “sow” goodness, this is what you reap. Assuming that another of those laws or rules is that the earth and things and even our lives are not our own but God’s, if we live in contradiction to this law, there will be consequences for us (like there are consequences of stealing from our boss).

One of the consequences as I see them, is the mess we (the human race) have made of this planet. We have used the earth’s resources as if they belonged to us rather than using them with a view to long term consumption by all the people of the world. We have exploited those resources and now we are backpeddling to try to bring the earth back into balance.

Another of the consequences is the mess people make of relationships, the worst examples being the ethnic genocide that has occurred far to often in our recent history. With “I” as God, relationships can only be disastrous.

And perhaps, more subtly, if we take the Divine Being from the proper place in our lives, we find ourselves needing to fill that space with all kinds of other things in order to be “happy”. Lo and behold, what do we reach out to but “things” and so the cycle goes on. I'm sure that you have all felt the "buzz" that comes from buying something new. And I'm also sure that you have noticed how short-lived that buzz is and how soon it is that we want to buy something else so that we can experience another buzz.

There is a most apt passage in the Bible, in Isaiah, which talks about this exact issue. “…Half of the wood he burns in the fire; over it he prepares his meal, he roasts his meat and eats his fill. He also warms himself and says, ‘Ah, I am warm; I see the fire.’ From the rest he makes a god, his idol; he bows down to it and worships. He prays to it and says, ‘Save me, you are my god.’” (Isaiah 44:16,17)

How is it that we, the human race, have so lost the track that we prefer to worship inanimate objects, made by our own hands, than we do to reach out to and pursue our Creator?

Jesus Christ, one of the greatest men who has walked this earth, offers us the opportunity to know and commune with God:-

"If anyone loves me, they will obey my teaching. My father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them." John 14:23

"Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labour on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare." Isaiah 55:1-2

"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord...For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be..." Psalm 139:1-4, 13-16

Feeling Stupid

Today I put diesel in a car that only takes petrol. Does that make you feel stupid or what?! I mean it wasn't as if I didn't think carefully about it first. I even conferred with 2 other people. And then I went ahead and did it. What I didn't do was to call the guy who lent me the car. Now, that would have been thinking.

I hate feeling stupid. I'm blonde and I'm a woman and when you do something stupid yet get the rolled eyes and the superior look and you don't even need them to speak out loud to know what they're thinking, "Typical. A woman and a car? What do you expect?" I feel like saying, "I'm not stupid. I was in the top 10% of my state in the school leaving exams. I have a law degree. My Dad's a mechanical engineer. I'm not stupid when it comes to cars."

But why do I feel the need to explain? I know I'm not stupid. God knows I'm not stupid. My family and friends love me whether I'm stupid or not. What does it matter?

Doesn't this culture (and I'm talking about the Western variety) place such emphasis on performance? It's not so much who you are, as what you can do and more specifically, what you can do for me. It would be so nice to spend more time caring about people and appreciating them for who they are, but I'm as guilty as anyone else. That's probably why I feel stupid when I do things like this, rather than say to myself, "Oh well. This is a mistake anyone could have made and it's OK to make mistakes anyway. I'm still me no matter what I do."

Poverty in Malawi

I moved to Malawi in June this year because my husband, Martin, and I have work here. I am now approaching the 2 month mark which is quite amazing. In some ways it feels like I’ve been here much longer because I can now find my way around Lilongwe without getting lost (well most of the time) and because I don’t feel quite so weird about being white and standing out like chalk on a blackboard! I have discovered that many Malawians say hello just because I’m white and they’re curious and wanting to be friendly but there are also a number who say hello because they want you to buy something from them. It’s very understandable when it’s their livelihood and if they don’t sell, they don’t eat. And it is a fair assumption that because we’re white we have money to buy their produce but it is annoying when they follow you up and down the street, “Madam, you want strawberries? I give you very good price.” Even though I politely say in their own language, “Thank you but sorry, I don’t want anything today”, they continue to follow “OK, what about oranges? I have very nice pineapple. Banana?” “Thank you but sorry. I don’t want anything today.” “Well maybe onions…?” Often I can be across the road and quite a distance away and I’ll be spotted and the persistent contingent will cross the road with their wares (often a life risking exercise) to chase me on my way, “Madam, you want….?”

I try to buy local produce when I can because the local sellers benefit immediately and if you buy at supermarkets you are generally benefiting wealthy South African businesses. The challenge is to overcome the overwhelming desire to escape because if you show the slightest interest you are swamped with people all selling a similar assortment, all offering madam a “very good price” and all competing with each other for the sale. Who do you buy from? What is a good price? I want to pay a fair price but what is that? And when you are swamped, the ability to decide what and how much you need evaporates instantly. We’re learning that if you want to buy from local vendors, you must decide beforehand exactly what you want. You don’t even look if you don’t want to buy and, when swamped, you take a deep breath, randomly select a seller, buy what you need and very firmly repeat as many times as necessary, “Thank you very much. That’s all. Thank you but I don’t want any more today. Thank you.” Then there are the wood craftsmen and the cloth merchants and the ….

I have always known that I am comparatively very wealthy but I have not experienced being treated as wealthy to this extent before. In my profession I am used to mixing with people who are infinitely more wealthy than I am but here it is very different. We really do form part of the most wealthy in the nation and I find it very strange. The local produce sellers are one example. Then there are the Indian traders in town. I hope it’s not too much of a generalisation to say that most small businesses are run by people of Indian/ Pakistani/ Middle Eastern descent. They shower us with praise because they also know that we are wealthy and have lots of money to spend in their stores. One such proprietor told Martin, “Mr Martin, I am overwhelmed by your patronage.” Another has his wife cook us Indian delicacies. Usually when we leave these stores we are asked, “When will you be back?” So far I have resisted the urge to respond with “Is it my irresistible personality you’re so charmed with or do you have your eye on my purse?” How hard it is to like and accept people purely for who they are and not for how they might be able to benefit you.

White people are far more likely to be pulled up by police for contravening a road law. Black people are pulled over for completely different reasons – often to do with the road-worthiness of their vehicles or what they might be carrying in them. We’ve heard that the police generally don’t bother pulling black people over for contravening road rules because they have no money to pay a fine so why bother fining them? When dealing with government departments you can find obstructions put in your way that may well be removed if you are prepared to “lend” them money for their children’s school fees or whatever. So far we’ve not had to do this but many of the white people we’ve talked to have.

The relationship I have with our housekeeper is a most interesting one. Mary is delightful. Not only does she do her work efficiently and cheerfully, but she will do anything asked of her immediately and without complaint. She is also teaching me how to speak Chichewa. She watches the 2 of us rattling around in this huge house while she and 3 of her 4 children live in cramped quarters on the premises. She also watches us buy luxury food and other things while she struggles to put her children through school. I don’t know how she does it. In her shoes I would struggle not to be bitter. She has the intelligence to have done whatever she wanted had she been born elsewhere. She talks of having been entered into an arranged marriage at 15 and the mother of twin boys at 16. 5 years ago her husband thought he might like to take another wife. Her choice was to accept that or go it alone. Her strength and dignity demanded of her that she go it alone and so now she brings up her 4 children without his emotional or financial support. She says being married at 15 is “very, very bad” and I agree with her heartily. We help in whatever way we can but the differences in wealth, life experience and opportunities will never be bridged. Yet we are friends. The fact that this is possible is an enormous tribute to Mary.

I am sure I will wrestle with the “we have so much and there is so much poverty” issue for as long as I am here. There are as many different answers to this issue as are people who live here so I am just going to have to work my own way through it.

On a lighter note, we continue to be entertained by the quaint names and signs that we find and there are some more examples below.

Names of the Week
McWonderful – I cannot imagine who in their right mind would call their child McWonderful but someone has because his name appeared in the local paper.
Berito – I am not sure if he is a beefy guy but another genuine name (I apologise for such awful humour)
Rouline – do they just make them up?

Interesting Pieces of Trivia
· Traffic lights are called “robots”
· The mobile phone has gone crazy here. We’re not sure why when it is so much cheaper to use a “ground line” as they’re called. One theory is that as mobile phones show up the caller’s number, people can dial your number and hang up. This is a sign that you should ring them back because they don’t have enough credit. Even government officials use this practice.
· There is no unleaded petrol available here. I made an idiot of myself a few weeks ago by pulling up to the “Super” pump and then trying to move the car. The attendant asked me what I was doing and I said I was looking for the unleaded pump. He looked at me as if I had come from Pluto!

Quaint Signs
The security staff at the gates to our estate wear badges on their shirts saying “Safeguards”
“Zero options club and bar” – would you seriously consider drinking there?!
The “God Will Provide Computer shop”

My Debut

Well hello. This is my debut Frog Blog, so to speak. The world of blogs is so far a mystery to me, somewhat like how I imagine it would be to dive to the bottom of the ocean for the first time. You see all kinds of things you never knew existed!

I hope you will share some thoughts with me and we can journey together to interesting places.

The Roving Frog